Hillbilly Parade

Slicked up greasy hair, slutty chicks in cheap cheerleader looking outfits, blood soaked t-shirts hanging off trees, crushed up beer cans in the bushes, at least seven shirtless dirty men per car, and loud Elvis Presley music everywhere you turn.

You’d think you were on a porn set in Memphis right? Wrong. Welcome to Power Meet in Vasteras Sweden. I say Memphis because I just assume everyone looks like Elvis, lives in a trailer park and has at least six kids with four different dads- one of them for sure named Jr. Junior What? Who knows. All I know is you don’t want to mess with that kid because he has a face tattoo and just finished his second pack of smokes. Did I mention he is 12? If he was just a few years older, I’d probably date him. Bad boys are a soft spot for me. And regrets.

From what I just described, you probably think Power Meet is the world’s largest gathering of beer bellied men without shoes. You are correct. Though, it is also a showing of refurbished cars. That part was less obvious. Here are some things I learned from the hillbilly hoedown:

  • No one has time to brush their teeth when working on old dodges
  • Hookers that only charge $5 for a hand-job do exist
  • Reindeer souvlaki is a type of food
  • Wearing a seat-belt is a sign of weakness
  • If you don’t have tattoos, mesh sleeves are the accepted alternative
  • If you’re a girl, your name is Betty

I’m guessing the name is after Betty White- the baddest chick in the whole damn town.

Speaking of nearly dead bitty’s- We were bicycling through and saw some paramedics surrounding this drunk girl who was laying still in the middle of the road. Unfortunately (for other people) my genetic makeup came without a filter, so as we pass the scene, I blurted out to my fiance, “That’s a dead bitch”. People started looking at me, so before I got out of their hearing range, I corrected myself, “I mean, that lady is super dead.” Nice save.

A couch strapped to the top of your car does not mean recently divorced or homeless- it means your car can hold four more people. Who would have guessed? Probably the person with the bumper sticker ‘When in doubt, Pull out’.

Dealing with last minute cover issues, but expect the book to be released in the next few days!

In the meantime I’m off to Scotland to get high five with Snoop Dog. 😉 You get it.


One comment

  1. At first I thought this was going to be an expression of your feelings about me moving to Houston… then I was reminded its not always all about me… disappointed.

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