Best-Worst Break-Up Story. Ever.

All the single ladies, all the single ladies
All the single ladies, all the single ladies
All the single ladies

Now put your hands up!

Uuuuhhhh uuhh. There’s nothing better than a little Beyonce to bring some swag into your Monday morning.

Don’t try and fight it. I’ll understand if you need a few minutes to finish dancing.

Are. You. Ready? Today’s blog is going to be a fun one. Filled with cat fights, ladder-climbing, sex-tapes, and a lot of running.

That’s right. It’s contest time!

Welcome to The Best Break-Up Story Ever Contest!

Have you been dumped by a man because he was in love with your bosses 65-year-old wife? Have you broken up with a guy two weeks before your wedding date because what happens in Vegas, didn’t stay in Vegas? Tell me your best-worst story you’ve got. I want to hear all the dirt! I know you have it in you- or in your closet filled with skeletons, or in all that baggage you carry around, or in pickling jars where you keep your exes remains. Wherever you’re hiding it, it’s time to let it all out!

The Prize! Share with us your most Imageepic break-up story for a chance to win a free signed copy of my book, Axing My Exes! 

The winner will also receive a vintage comic made up from a quote in their story by fellow blogger ThingsMyExSaid . You’ll get to watch your romantic tragedy turned into a comedy!
We all know that sometimes life throws shit at you, so why not laugh it off!

Submit your break-up story to either the comment section below or on the Axing My Exes Facebook Page.

If you want to discretely submit your story, please do so in a private message to Axing My Exes on Facebook.

The last day for submissions is Sunday, September 25th. Because on Monday, Sept. 26th’s blog post, we will be announcing the Winning Break-Up Story!

In Axing My Exes, Alexandria tells you all about her break-ups from hot-headed bartenders to cheating athletes. So it’s not a surprise that a review on Amazon calls it “The Best Break Up Book!”. But Alexandria isn’t the only one in my head with a juicy past. In lieu of me asking you to lay out all your dirty laundry, I’ve decided to share a personal break-up story of my own.

I call it: I Didn’t Know I Was Dating Cesar Millan

Way way back before I met my fiance, I went on a few dates with a handsome blue-collared guy who was extremely well-mannered. Opened doors for me, listened while I was talking, treated me to every meal- a ‘Momma didn’t raise no fool’ kind of guy. One night he came over to my place for dinner. During the meal, I kept noticing him give dirty looks to my dog, who was sitting on the floor beside my chair. I brushed it off. Then we started eating some lava cake, and my roommate’s cat jumps up on the table. And just lays there. Ass end staring right at our faces. I burst out laughing, then kept eating. He got up and left. He called me a few days later to explain that, at that moment, he knew he couldn’t be with me any longer because I don’t have dominance over animals. Well he can go fuck a lion tamer. You let the cat on the table

Thank-you to H at ThingsMyExSaid for this comic of my sad-because-it’s-true story. Click the picture to check out more vintage comics.

I can’t wait to hear all of your stories! The dirtier, the better, because sharing is caring. As always, may the sluttiest person win!

High five!


  1. OMG You made my morning lol I’ve totally been on dates with “mama didn’t raise no fool” type of guy. The irony of that type of guy is that 99% of the time mama totally effed up and raised a big fool.

    I have so many break up stories!! I don’t know which to chooseI’m sure you know so many of them already.

    There’s the TWO times I got jizzed on lol

    Miss you xoxo Sara Sepehri VP of Marketing/Founder

    Play Money Media Inc. 219 Dufferin St. Suite 310B Toronto, ON M5B 2A5

    Office: 647.493.8997 Cell: 416.670.2239

  2. Just when you thought the GFC was messy! I’d been made redundant from my breadwinner job at a local government council that had just lost $9 million in the Lehman Bros. collapse. I’d been there three years and have come to accept that there was a bit of fat in the particular unit I worked in. There still is.
    Six weeks after being made redundant, and three days into my new job at a social security call centre (dealing with the influx of people in similar or more dire circumstances), my unemployed ex-husband raided our mortgage account and set himself up in a nearby unit where he could claim rent assistance from the same social security where he’d registered as principal carer of our two children). Knowing full well that it wouldn’t be read until after I left work, the text message he sent advised that he’d “found a real estate opportunity” that he couldn’t pass up. Later he had the hide to complain to me that the social security lot were giving him grief because he hadn’t returned a form on time. My response was: “You married her. I just work for her. And she’s a bitch!

  3. You want a good break up story- listen to this one. I was dating this beautiful man from London and we were absolutely crazy about each other (or at least I was). We went out for dinner followed by a couple glasses of wine. We went back to our hotel room and a mutual (female) friend came to say hello. After 1 hour of drinking and casual conversation my (ex) boyfriend decides to put his hand on her upper thigh. She, being a sharer responds positively to it and before I know it they are on our bed hooking up right in front of me. I begin to yell extremely harsh words to both of them, my ex stops, looks at me and says “oh well you can join I guess”. Get that into ya!!!

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