Writing

Best-Worst Break-Up Story. Ever.

All the single ladies, all the single ladies
All the single ladies, all the single ladies
All the single ladies

Now put your hands up!

Uuuuhhhh uuhh. There’s nothing better than a little Beyonce to bring some swag into your Monday morning.

Don’t try and fight it. I’ll understand if you need a few minutes to finish dancing.

Are. You. Ready? Today’s blog is going to be a fun one. Filled with cat fights, ladder-climbing, sex-tapes, and a lot of running.

That’s right. It’s contest time!

Welcome to The Best Break-Up Story Ever Contest!

Have you been dumped by a man because he was in love with your bosses 65-year-old wife? Have you broken up with a guy two weeks before your wedding date because what happens in Vegas, didn’t stay in Vegas?¬†Tell me your best-worst story you’ve got. I want to hear all the dirt! I know you have it in you- or in your closet filled with skeletons, or in all that baggage you carry around, or in pickling jars where you keep your exes remains. Wherever you’re hiding it, it’s time to let it all out!

The Prize! Share with us your most Imageepic break-up story for a chance to win a free signed copy of my book, Axing My Exes! 

The winner will also receive a vintage comic made up from a quote in their story by fellow blogger ThingsMyExSaid . You’ll get to watch your romantic tragedy turned into a comedy!
We all know that sometimes life throws shit at you, so why not laugh it off!

Submit your break-up story to either the comment section below or on the Axing My Exes Facebook Page. https://www.facebook.com/AxingMyExes

If you want to discretely submit your story, please do so in a private message to Axing My Exes on Facebook.

The last day for submissions is Sunday, September 25th. Because on Monday, Sept. 26th’s blog post, we will be announcing the Winning Break-Up Story!

In Axing My Exes, Alexandria tells you all about her break-ups from hot-headed bartenders to cheating athletes. So it’s not a surprise that a review on Amazon calls it “The Best Break Up Book!”. But Alexandria isn’t the only one in my head with a juicy past. In lieu of me asking you to lay out all your dirty laundry, I’ve decided to share a personal break-up story of my own.

I call it: I Didn’t Know I Was Dating Cesar Millan

Way way back before I met my fiance, I went on a few dates with a handsome blue-collared guy who was extremely well-mannered. Opened doors for me, listened while I was talking, treated me to every meal- a ‘Momma didn’t raise no fool’ kind of guy. One night he came over to my place for dinner. During the meal, I kept noticing him give dirty looks to my dog, who was sitting on the floor beside my chair. I brushed it off. Then we started eating some lava cake, and my roommate’s cat jumps up on the table. And just lays there. Ass end staring right at our faces. I burst out laughing, then kept eating. He got up and left. He called me a few days later to explain that, at that moment, he knew he couldn’t be with me any longer because I don’t have dominance over animals. Well he can go fuck a lion tamer. You let the cat on the table

Thank-you to H at ThingsMyExSaid for this comic of my sad-because-it’s-true story. Click the picture to check out more vintage comics.

I can’t wait to hear all of your stories! The dirtier, the better, because sharing is caring. As always, may the sluttiest person win!

High five!